adopted. awesome. cat lover. cheerful. coffee addict. creative. diet coke lover. drama nerd. easily amused. friend. girly. grad student. kiwi. mac user. night owl. only child. overthinker. purple person. scrapbooker. september baby. starbucks fan. trainee teacher. 22. 
For once I have decided to do away with random, frivolous blogs about frilly underwear and accidentally having deleted my site, and post something insightful and – due to it being Valentine’s Day today – topical.
I’ve been thinking about this for awhile actually, but decided to save it for my Valentine’s Day blog, since it’s about love. 
To cut a long story short, I believe this word, and all the connotations that accompany it, are overused.
Before I get too involved in this and begin to ramble too much, I should probably clarify exactly what I define love to be. Love is not a feeling, or an emotion, it is an action. It’s something you have to work on every single day of your life. Something you have to keep building up, otherwise it disappears.
Most people, including myself until I started overthinking, would not hesitate to say “I love those shoes”, or”I love pizza”, when really what they mean is that they like them, admire them, or enjoy them.
While it might not be so dangerous with regard to shoes and pizza and other inanimate object without feelings, I believe that the overuse/underuse or misuse of the word love can certainly be harmful when it comes to people.
Telling someone “I love you” is obviously a very significant, intimate part of your relationship (and by relationship, I’m not just referring to spouses either), and will more than likely change the way the person sees you, and behaves towards you. It brings you closer together, but also puts more responsibility on both parties. Responsibility that can sour a relationship if it is foisted upon it too soon.
One of my pet peeves is receiving cards from acquaintances and extended family members which say “Dear Holly *appropriate greeting and message here* Love, Great Uncle Keith.”. I’m sure Great Uncle Keith is very kind and well-intentioned, but as he hasn’t seen me since I was 4, couldn’t tell me my favourite colour, and probably wouldn’t even recognise me if he saw me in the street, how on earth can he possibly love me? He doesn’t even know me!? Perhaps Great Uncle Keith felt obligated to write this, because he felt that simply saying “From” was cold and impersonal. He might be right, but he could have said “Happy Birthday”, “Congratulations”, “Merry Christmas” or something else warm and friendly instead!?
I agree with Margaret Atwood, who was perceptive enough to use her poem “Variations on the Word Love” to describe it as “a word to plug holes with”. Something you say without really thinking about what it means to you, or what it might mean to the other person. Something you say because you think you should.
It’s all very well to do this, and to tell someone you love them IF YOU REALLY DO (In fact you should. Now. Right now.), but otherwise, don’t plug holes with it.
I have the opposite problem to Great Uncle Keith – I always feel like putting ‘love, Jenny’ on a card is TOO personal lol. My brain hurts.
The word love seems to have sprouted new meanings… It reminds me of how in Jane Austen books the word ‘lover’ means something quite different to what it means today and it always shocks me a little bit when I read it lol.
Anyway, maybe we need a new word for love in the context of romance… to distinguish it from love in the context of pizza or friends. Seems like so much depends on the other person’s interpretation. Which might be ok, if people are good enough at working out what is meant from other stuff (body language and other “subtle psychological indicators.” Yes that’s a Bones quote).
Haha now I’m reminded of the Friend’s episode where Ross tells Mona he loves her and she says “and I love spending time with you,” and he is bummed.
I give up thinking about this now.
Oh! Sorry I haven’t been so active lately. I didn’t notice anything wrong with my comment form until I saw your tag…do you have any idea of the problem?
I like your new subdomain from normania..the URL is easier to remember too, lol. :p I’m very busy today with school work but I’ll ttyl.
i agree that love is a dangerous thing, a dangerous word that should be use with caution.. It’s not something that you just throw away at someone.I guess that’s one reason why a lot has failed of showing and feeling love.. because it’s not just a word..
well let’s just enjoy the valentine’s..
that’s a very insightful post. wow. unfortunately, people have been throwing the word “love” around like ragdoll. sigh. when will people learn?
Ok, I’m guilty. I do that. I say love all the time. I even say it to people in a random way. I don’t really know how to describe it. But I know what you mean. When I say it to Peter and my mom and dad, obviously I mean it. But it does pop out more often than it should. I am going to try and watch myself!
Lol @ Great Uncle Keith (or do you actually have one?!).
I have the same thing as Jenny, I hesitate to write ‘love, Brooke’ unless I mean it. But I do possibly overuse the word in other contexts, such as when I’m watching netball and I state enthusiastically to my brother that I am now completely in love with the player that just sunk the winning shot against Australia lol. Although the feeling of love has similar components to that of euphoria, so it can be easy to get them mixed up in a rush of excitement or relief.
The other night at work I was rushed off my feet due to the restaurant being almost full and me being the only wait staff member on. The moment the other waiter rostered on arrived I told him I loved him, obviously I don’t, it was just easier, quicker and more succinct (and misleading I guess, although I’m certain the guy in question knows I didn’t mean it like that) than saying ‘wow we’re so busy, I’m really glad you’re here’.
Although I’m guessing your ‘Great Uncle Keith’ was not having a fit of euphoria when he wrote your birthday card, so I can’t explain why he wrote that, other than, as you said, a sense of it being the appropriate thing to write!
*ramble over*
How was your exam?
I don’t think there is one kind of love. There are different kinds of love which is why I think the word is tossed around more. With friends and family, regardless of how often I see them, I sign my cards “Love always, Cristina.” If I were sending you a card Holly, I would sign it that way. That’s just how I am.
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