I had a strange flash of memory tonight. I don’t know why, but recollections of three conversations and an action popped into my head and made me realise how much I have changed in the last few years; probably not for the better.

In my second to last year of high school we went on Leadership Camp. The purpose of this was to prepare us for Year 13, where some of us would be prefects and fill various other student leadership positions. One of the activities we did on camp was to break into groups and, with each person having a turn at being the “target”, go around and have 4 or 5 people from the group say something they liked about them, or something good they had noticed about their personality.

I don’t remember most of the things that were said about me, but the one thing I DO remember is one girl, who I wasn’t even friends with, saying that although she had just spent three weeks on a trip to Japan with me (where our group was together pretty much the entire time, aside from homestays), she had “never heard me bitch about anyone or have anything nasty to say”. I wasn’t popular in high school, but after that day I thought to myself “If that’s the impression I make on people, even ones who aren’t my friends, then I hope that’s how they remember me.”

The second memory is also something said to me by someone I want to school with. Somehow the discussion came up (maybe facetiously) over whether or not I was a bitch. She commented that I was often the person “Telling us to stop bitching about people”. It’s not as if I was a popular person, or even someone who thought her peers would listen to her, but I guess that after one incident at primary school where I DIDN’T stand up for a kid who was bullied¹, I always felt like I had to. In case nobody else did. *shrug*

In my last year of school, there was a running joke was that I knew ALL the gossip, and the ins and outs of the lives of practically everybody in my year group. Simply because I was so quiet, I could sit in the common room fading into the background of every conversation, but still hear everything that was said! Although it was kind of funny at the time, looking back on it now I realise that in order for people to feel comfortable “ignoring me” and continuing with their personal discussions in my presence, I must have given off a certain vibe that implied I wasn’t interested in talking about them behind their backs, or spreading the private information I may have heard.

The last thing that springs to mind is something that I became involved in quite unexpectedly. Being a reasonably small year group, I ended up being in EVERY SINGLE CLASS with a small group of other girls. This was how I came to discover that one of the girls was self harming. Although I wasn’t really friends with her I still took it upon myself to go and speak to a teacher who I knew was already aware of this student’s personal issues. Keeping that kind of thing to myself just didn’t sit right. Luckily this teacher understood that I did not wish to be identified as the person who had “told on” the girl, and agreed to claim that it was HER who told her parents/counsellor what was going on.

Before you all start thinking this is some weird, self-congratulatory speel about “Look how awesome I am!” – I promise I am getting to the point!

In looking back on how I was several years ago, I realise I’m not really like that anymore. It’s not as if I’ve suddenly flipped to the other end of the scale and started bashing and judging everybody I meet, but there have been several occasions where I have caught myself thinking (and sometimes saying) uncomplimentary things about other people. “Wow. She/he’ really unfriendly/mean/dumb!”

Old Holly would not only probably not have done that, she might even (if she was feeling brave), have stepped in and pointed out that aforementioned comment was unfair. As for “interfering” in a situation like the one I encountered at school, I don’t know what I’d do now. Maybe I’d still do the same thing, or maybe I’d be more inclined to dither around and worry instead.

Does ANYBODY else identify with what I just wrote about? Do ANY other bloggers feel like they were nicer people several years ago? I hope this isn’t just part of growing out of being a teenager. I’ll be sad if this is normal.

1. I still remember this vividly now, and often wonder what happened to that boy [↩]

Trying a couple of new things for Music Monday this week!

1) This lovely button. Sadly my Photoshop skills aren’t as awesome as I would like them to be, so this button/banner leaves a little to be desired, but it could be worse. If you would like to add it to your Music Monday post, please copy and paste this…
<a href=”http://holly.normania.net” mce_href=”http://holly.normania.net” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v494/pink_silk_rose/musicmonday.png” mce_src=”http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v494/pink_silk_rose/musicmonday.png”/></a>

2) A Mr. Linky widget. I have always suspected that there are most people who do Music Monday than I am aware of, and I always like reading about/hearing about other peoples taste in music, so if you do Music Monday, make sure to add your link, so other people can come and visit you too.

Now, without further ado…if there’s one Music Monday video you HAVE to watch, it’s this one. In all honesty, I think this is the coolest thing I have ever seen on the whole of Youtube.

If you were wondering, yes, I did briefly contemplate posting a Michael Jackson song today, but then I realised that I actually don’t LIKE him, so therefore…he does not feature as Music Monday, even though he is now unfortunately dead.

Some of you might have seen this photo on my sidebar awhile ago, but he’s so cute I decided he needed a post of his own. Also a caption…? Poor Mr. Fat Gingerbread Man with his cracked buttons and strange, beak-like mouth…

Whether this costume is awesome or hideous…

I assume you drive. Have you ever gotten in your car, left the driveway or kerb with no destination in mind and gone for a drive. Where did you end up? – Gary
Haha actually no, I don’t drive! I’ve only just started learning recently, so haven’t really had the chance to drive anywhere random yet!

What’s your favorite thing about blogging? – Erin
Ok, so I initially thought this question was going to be really easy to answer, but, once I thought about it, I started confusing myself! I think the way it connects me with TONS of other people is my favourite thing though. If I knew that I would never have another reader or another comment, I just don’t think I’d keep blogging, though I’d probably scrapbook more!

Who’s your favourite teletubby? – Brooke
I know it’s not really a Teletubby, but I always thought Noo-Noo was pretty awesome. If I have to pick one of the actual Teletubbies though, I’d go with Laa-Laa. I had her on my cake when I turned 12, lol! It was pretty awesome. I wonder if I still have the figurine…

SJB or SB? – Brooke
As cool as Sarah Brightman is, I think I’m going to have to go with Stephanie J. Block! Just because she’s especially awesome. And has emailed me. And uses Twitter. For those of you who don’t know how awesome she is, you need to read this interview.

Have you worked out which movie you watched in Hawaii yet? – Brooke
No! I know I watched As Good As It Gets, but I can’t remember what the other one was! I was absolutely SURE it was Never Been Kissed, but obviously not! It’s weird, coz I have vivid memories of being in the hotel room with all the other kids (while our parents were all at the dinner), ordering room service and watching movies (looking back, we’re lucky we managed to avoid accidentally ordering porn on the TV system!!!). I remember the first one because we all decided it was boring and didn’t watch it all, and for like TEN YEARS I was convinced Never Been Kissed was the other, but having discovered on Sunday that it wasn’t made until 1999, it can’t have been!

What is your favourite sort of biscuit and why? – Sam
Any biscuits with chocolate in them. Nomnomnom. Also Gingerbread Men.

Do you have any favourite shops? – Sam
Not really, although I do like Dotti and Acquisitions. They’re pretty awesome. Also Spotlight, and scrapbooking/craft shops in general.

If you were granted teleportation to one destination and back, where would you go? – Sam
Oooh. Um…to work. Really speedily. Every day. Extra sleep in the morning would be awesome, and would get rid of the extra 20 mins or so it takes me to walk there. That counts, right?

Will you be auditioning for Coke Cola in the Park? – Luke
No, I have no intention of auditioning for Christmas in the Park. I’m nowhere near a strong enough singer/dancer, lol. It’s funny when I go and see it though, coz I always end up looking on the website before I leave to see which people I know are in it this year, hahah. Theatre companies in Christchurch are a very small world.

Do you ever count in your head? Or the amount of steps you take? – Amanda
Not regularly, but sometimes I do. I know there are 16 stairs at my house, from having counted them one day when I was REALLY bored!

What would you say inspires you the most to blog about? – Trinity
I don’t know whether inspires is the right word for this, but my favourite things to blog about are silly little things that would otherwise be forgotten about, like Happy Pepper and Postmodern Bear. They’re always funny to look back on several months down the track.

Why do you blog? – Esther
This seems to be a popular question this time around! I think I blog because it’s become a habit. I started in April 2006 (I recently recovered some of these entries from the WayBack Machine, lol) and have just never stopped. I wonder if I am addicted…?

Do you feel odd that someone could walk past you on the street, know all this stuff about you (from your blog), and you wouldn’t even know their name? - Esther
Now that you mention it, I suppose that is kind of a weird thought, but to be perfectly honest, unless said person is an axe murderer, robber, or other unsavoury type, it doesn’t bother me that much. I remember Andrea mentioning awhile ago that she was recognised thanks to her blog, and actually thought it was kind of cool. I hope if someone did recognise me that they’d stop and say hello, and that they’d be nice! I wonder whether I would recognise a blogger if I saw them on the street…

How are you feeling about you 101 in 1001 list? Less than a year to go… – Esther
Ok, but I’m kind of wishing I had made it a bit more realistic. I think all the items so far are now divided into the Doable Things and the Impossible Things. I’m going to do another one next March though!

Which item(s) on your 101 list currently seem(s) the most daunting/unattainable? – Esther
I’m not going to answer this here, just because I think it’s such a good question it deserves its own blog post somewhere in the future! Thanks for the idea!

How many blogs do you read every day? – Cathy
Currently I am subscribed to 160 through Google Reader, but by no means do I read or comment on them all daily! I’d never do anything else if I did! Also, some of those are things like LOLcats and FAILblog etc, which I just look at without actually visiting the site. I’d say there are probably 20 or 30 blogs that I’m a dedicated reader of. In addition to that I sometimes click on links left by the posters of interesting comments I see on other blogs too, which is how I find new people.

Can you explain about trifle being a Christmas tradition in NZ? – Kelli
Well I’m assuming it’s a general NZ tradition, and not just something my family started up! It looks pretty much the same as the one you make for summer, although over here, since our seasons are the other way around, it is associated with Christmas dinner! I did look for a picture of one of the trifles my family has made, but sadly I couldn’t find one, so this photo (taken from the TVNZ website) will have to do. Oddly, the bowl does look almost identical to the one mum uses though! o.O

Have you ever thought of going travelling? – Rebecca
Yes! Definitely! This post explains a bit more about what I think I’m going to do in the next year or so.